Trouble with octopi
by Sara Holmes
Summary: HP/DM. Yesterday, Harry Potter would have said it was a great idea to turn Draco Malfoy's office into an aquarium...Warnings for sexual content, swearing and sea creatures.


**Disclaimer**: I still don't own any of these guys, girls or places. They belong to JK Rowling and The Publishers and I'm not making any money or infringing any copyright.

**Warnings**: Swearing, slash, sexual content and sea creatures.

**Authors note:** Yes I know its clichéd and I know the concept has been done to death but I had fun writing it and my story contains lots of swearing and an octopus and that makes it original.

_And_ I also know I'm meant to be doing Get Some, but basically I had a moment where I really wasn't happy with where things were going by using my original story plan so I went on a rewriting rampage. So, I decided to take this one-shot which has nearly been finished for weeks and post it for you guys to tide you over until construction is finished on Get Some, which should be tomorrow at the latest, grovel grovel bribe bribe and all.

* * *

**Trouble With Octopi**

* * *

"Move."

"No, you move."

"I asked first!"

"You didn't ask, you _told._ Try being polite."

"Well your stuff is on my side."

"There is no fucking _your side_, it's one desk!"

"Language, Potter."

"Fuck off, Malfoy!"

Yesterday Harry Potter would have said it was a great idea to turn Draco Malfoy's office into an aquarium.

An idea born from having too many drinks at lunchtime with Ron and George, it had been (to start with) one of the highlights of Harry's year. George had provided the Weasleys Wizard Wheezes Aquabox, Ron had planted it in Draco's office in the Ministry and Harry had done nothing but stand nonchalantly in the corridor, ready to laugh his arse off when Draco opened the door to find a self contained aquarium filling the room, complete with countless tropical fish, two turtles, eight or nine jellyfish and a rather shifty looking octopus.

Draco's expression _had _been almost worth it, Harry had to concede. Outright shock, followed by confusion, followed by rage which was quickly turned on Harry as Draco pointed his wand directly between his eyes and politely demanded to know in a voice shaking with barely controlled fury why _the fuck_ there was an octopus and several hundred litres of fish filled sea water in his office.

Today, Harry would have to say it was one of the stupidest things he'd ever let Ron and George talk him into. Kingsley hadn't believed in Harry's innocence in the situation in the slightest, and had shouted and ranted about damaging ministry property, (despite the fact the Aquabox would leave everything perfectly unharmed when it was removed), childish pranks (when Draco had been the one to start it all by spiking Ron's drink with love potion at the Christmas Ball three years ago) and wasting time (when Harry knew full well Draco and the rest of the Department of Ministry Finance spent afternoons napping anyway).

He had then proceeded to ruin Harry's day, and maybe even his _life_, by saying that until someone managed to get that damn Aquabox out of Draco's office, he would be not only joining Harry on the floor below in the Auror department, but sharing Harry's office.

Harry had begged, pleaded, apologised, offered to go into the office-aquarium and fight the grumpy octopus to get the Aquabox out, and even contemplated using the line "well I did kind of save the world you know," to get out of having to share an office with Draco, but Kingsley told him it would be character building, and seeing as this was all his fault he should man up and deal with it.

So now he found himself sat opposite Draco who was still less than impressed that he had to share an office with Harry, as well as still being spitting mad about the temporary incapacitation of his office.

"I would fuck off, Potter, but _you _were the one who turned my office into a fucking fish tank!"

"Language, Malfoy," Harry shot back.

Draco opened and shut his mouth a few times, rendered temporarily incoherent by his frustration.

"The rest of my papers are in there," Draco finally said, shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, breathing in and out deeply. "I can't get everything done without them."

Harry looked at his watch with his eyebrows raised. "But it's gone two; I thought this was about the time you guys in finance put your feet up went to sleep?"

"With you in the room?" Draco scoffed, not missing a beat. "Hardly."

"I'm not going to hex you," Harry said, rolling his eyes.

"It's what else you'd do to me in my sleep I'd be worried about," Draco retorted, a knowing glint in his eye. "I don't fancy being sleep-groped."

Harry gaped at him, his mind trying to go for angry and indignant and contemptuous and sarcasm and denial all at the same time. "I'm not- that's- but," he spluttered, a flush rising in his neck.

"Calm down before you do yourself any damage," Draco sighed, pulling his briefcase towards him and opening it for the twentieth time since he had sat down at Harry's desk. "Your secret is safe with me, Potter."

"Its not- how do you know?" Harry stopped mid-sentence, still blushing furiously.

Draco looked up at him, looking mildly amused. "How do I know you're gay, Potter?"

Harry just stared at him.

"Intuition," Draco supplied unhelpfully, a smile playing on his lips before he delved back into his briefcase and pulled out a piece of parchment covered in numbers and scrawls of Gobbledegook.

Yep. Harry's life was ruined.

* * *

"Potter?" Draco asked not five minutes later in a perfectly polite voice, not looking up from his sheet of parchment.

"Malfoy?" Harry replied cautiously.

"Care to explain why you've been staring at me for the last five minutes?" Draco asked carefully.

"I have not-" Harry began indignantly but as Draco raised an eyebrow and looked up at him with his trademark amused Malfoy smirk firmly in place, Harry shut his mouth again, knowing he had been caught out and would do a rubbish job at denying it, changing his answer instead.

"No, I would not care to explain," he said primly, his eyes firmly fixed on the report in front of him.

Draco chuckled and Harry fought the urge to look at him again, wanting to see what he looked like when he laughed. Of course he had been staring- who wouldn't stare when placed directly opposite and only three feet away from Draco Malfoy? Even _straight_ men would stare.

It wasn't his fault anyway; the blame lied entirely with George and a batch of Sweet Dreams potion- a concoction designed to give the unfortunate drinker sexual dreams about the last person they touched before sleeping. If George hadn't left the potion that Ron had intended to use on Malfoy lying around the house, concealed 'cleverly' in a bottle of water, then Harry would never have accidentally picked it up, taken it to work, drank it on the way out of the Ministry whilst bumping into Malfoy in the queue for the apparition point and consequently spent the whole night having explicit, highly realistic and altogether fantastic dreams of a sexual nature about said former Slytherin.

It was a week later when he had gotten into a lift in the Ministry containing Draco, and promptly dropped everything he was holding, that Harry realised that he may have had a teensy tiny crush on Draco.

It was six months later when he was _still _dropping things when Malfoy appeared unexpectedly that Harry had to admit he had maybe a _serious_ crush on him.

"So, how's life in the Auror Corps suiting you?" Draco asked suddenly, making Harry jump.

"What?" he asked before he could think of a response.

"Just making small talk, Potter." Draco shrugged, flipping the sheet of parchment over and staring down at the numbers, a frown slowly forming on his face. "Oh for fucks-" he stood up, picking up the sheet of parchment and glaring at it as if it had mortally offended him.

"Trust Aberswithe not to be able to _count_," he said irritably, walking to the door. "I'll be back in a minute. Well, probably a lot longer than that, seeing as I have to go all the way upstairs because _someone _fucked up my office-"

The rant carried Draco all the way to the door and out and Harry breathed a sigh of relief when the door clicked shut and he was gone. He had read the same line of his report about seven and a half times, his brain capacity stunted somewhat by Draco's presence.

He briefly contemplated running for it; going home and dealing with Kingsley tomorrow but he was certain that Kingsley was trying to prove a point by putting Draco in with him and would probably make partner him with someone useless on the next mission or even worse, make Draco stay in Harry's office for even longer if he bailed early.

He pulled the report to him and found it actually quite easy to read now he didn't have any Draco-watching to indulge in. He picked up his quill and stared making notes on the report, making good progress until the door banged open again some twenty minutes later and Draco wandered in, a cup of coffee in each hand and his sheet of parchment held in his mouth, clamped between his lips, kicking the door shut behind him.

"Mmmf," he said, putting the cups down on the desk on top of a stack of Harry's paperwork and taking the piece of parchment out his mouth when his hands were free.

Harry stared at the coffee and then at Draco who was sitting back down, picking up one of the drinks and the sheet of parchment which was now covered in scribbles of red ink.

"You bought me coffee," Harry said flatly.

"Yeah," Draco said in an unconcerned voice, not taking his eyes off of the parchment. "Figured I'm still in your debt."

"What?" Harry asked again.

"You saved my life and all," Draco shrugged, his eyes flicking to Harry and back.

"That was…five years ago?" Harry said, starting to laugh.

"Yeah…I'm a bit behind on my thank you's," Draco said.

"You already said thank you," Harry reminded him.

"Yes, but still," Draco said firmly. "I owe you. End of."

"If you're planning on repaying me in coffee you're going to owe me…at least a couple of hundred cups," Harry said, grinning.

"Oh, so my life is worth a couple of hundred cups of coffee? That's it?" Draco asked, raising his eyebrows.

"You're right," Harry said in mock thoughtfulness. "The one'll do."

Draco pulled a face at him but Harry saw him smile as he looked back at the sheet of parchment, picking up his quill and jotting some numbers in the margin.

Harry's heart was hammering against his chest; he was chatting in a light, friendly, possibly almost flirty manner with Draco Malfoy and he had so far managed not to drop anything or made a fool out of himself too badly.

"So, do your bunch of chums know you're gay then?" Draco asked nonchalantly.

"Do they-? Well, it's not, but…well only a few…yes," Harry said. So much for not making a fool out of himself.

"Up until a year ago I thought you were all settled with the Weasley girl," Draco said.

"No," Harry said shortly. "Didn't work out," he said, picking up his cup of coffee and taking a sip. A little cream and one sugar, just how he liked. Draco was either a damn good guesser or had known what Harry's preference was in terms of coffee as well as sexuality, but before he could muse on that intriguing thought much longer Draco spoke again.

"Why, because she didn't have enough penis?"

Harry choked on his coffee and Draco burst into peals of laughter. Coughing violently, Harry looked through his watering eyes at Draco, who was laughing delightedly. As Harry considered Draco's unconventional thank you, the getting Harry perfect coffee and the way he looked when he was laughing, Harry decided that he might just be a teensy bit in love with Draco Malfoy.

"Yes, if you want to be that crude about it," Harry said, his voice still a little hoarse.

"I _like_ crude," Draco said unapologetically.

"Never would have guessed," Harry said, taking a decidedly more careful sip of his coffee.

"People often say that," Draco mused. "They don't expect it from me. I think it's a perfectly natural reaction to living with Blaise Zabini."

Harry immediately felt a confusing surge of panic and jealousy in his chest and the coffee cup twitched in his hand. He opted for playing it safe and put it down before he dropped it.

"You live with Zabini? I didn't know that," Harry said, trying to go for casually interested and probably missing, given the funny look that Draco shot him.

"Yeah, have done since Hogwarts," Draco said, looking at Harry for a beat longer before shrugging and pulling a battered and worn book on Gobbledegook terminology out of his briefcase, and flicking though it. "He's a pain though, bringing girls back all the time."

Draco shuddered theatrically and Harry chuckled, his brain at once perking up. "Wouldn't think you'd mind," he said casually.

Draco looked at him like he were mad. "Are you just acting thick, Potter? I hope so."

"Well you're certainly not any nicer than you were in school," Harry commented archly.

"Yes I am," Draco replied. "But I do have limits. And you thinking that I'd appreciate half naked women parading around my flat is testing those limits admirably."

"So you wouldn't like it?" Harry asked, abandoning pretence entirely, and vaguely thinking that Hermione was right: he really couldn't do subtle.

Draco sighed, shaking his head, "You _are _dense Potter," he said, his eyes sparkling. "Seeing as I'm as gay as you are, I probably wouldn't like the naked women, no."

Harry went back to gaping unashamedly.

"Oh come on Potter, you knew that," Draco said with a perfectly raised eyebrow. "Or at least you were hoping that," he added with a sly grin.

"I was not," Harry said immediately.

"Oh," Draco said, eyeing Harry with a strange look in his eye. "Pity."

Burying his face in his hands, Harry silently counted to ten. Draco was running rings around him and he couldn't bloody keep up. He had had suspicions that Draco was gay- well, it was more of on ongoing rumour that the Ministry witches liked to revisit when gossip was scarce- but to hear it from his own lips was something else entirely, possibly akin to having your birthday come early, or finding the holy grail.

"Because I was starting to think that you'd done all this on purpose," Draco suddenly said rather carefully. "An excuse to get me in your office, you know."

Harry froze behind his hands, not moving them away from his face, wondering what the hell to say. Something smart? No, he couldn't pull that off right now. Something sarcastic? He'd probably offend Draco and he was liking nice Draco far too much to risk that right now.

He went for honest. "You really think I'd plan to get you in here then make a fool out of myself by having no idea what to say and choking on my coffee?" he asked wearily.

Draco chuckled. "Oh. That's a shame. I was quite liking the notion of you trying to seduce me."

Draco was trying to _kill _him, Harry was sure of it. He pressed his palms into his face even harder and firmly told his brain to abandon all thoughts of Draco-seduction because Draco was a liar and he was winding Harry up and that was _it_.

"Have you forgotten how to talk? Or lost the capacity to?" Draco asked, sounding amused.

"No, but seeing as I cant seem to say anything without making an arse of myself I'm giving up," Harry said, finally pulling his hands away from his face but not looking up at Draco.

"Fair point, Potter. I'll just chalk it up to you being in shock at coming this close to another gay guy."

"It's not because you're _gay_, it's because-" Harry managed to stop his mouth abruptly but the damage was done.

"Yes?" Draco asked, his expression hungry and making Harry a little nervous.

"Nothing- what are you trying to do here?" Harry asked, going for defensive.

"What are _you_trying to do?" Draco countered, his tone demanding.

"Me?" Harry asked in disbelief. "You're the one buying me coffee and saying sorry and dropping hints about _seducing_-"

"Well you're the one watching me and asking me questions and freaking out because I said I lived with Blaise!" Draco cut across him impatiently.

"Oh just shut up," Harry snapped, resting his elbows on the table and holding his hair in his hands, his head bowed as he stared at the parchment in front of him.

"You shut up," Draco replied moodily.

"Fuck off," Harry muttered. And things had been going so well.

"Potter-" Draco said quietly after a moment and Harry looked up, trying to keep his temper in check.

"Don't say anything, you'll only be an arse or speak in riddles and I'm not in the -"

"Potter, you've got five seconds to get over here and kiss me or I'm giving up and going home," Draco said flatly.

Harry nearly choked on a lungful of air, looking sharply up at Draco and expecting to see a smirk or a big sign saying _I was joking you idiot._ He saw neither. What he did see was Draco looking at him intently and a little warily as if the words he'd said had slipped out of his mouth without permission and he was now contemplating regretting it.

"You want to kiss me?" Harry said, still in shock and unable to move.

"No," Draco said evasively, standing up and slipping out from behind the desk, looking uncomfortable.

"Yes you do!" Harry said and Draco shook his head, a flush rising in his neck. Harry was delighted; Draco Malfoy was blushing, actually _blushing_, the pale skin on his cheeks turning an obvious and startling pink.

"No I don't. I was testing to see if you liked me," Draco said, turning his back on Harry and walking to the door.

Harry had never moved as quickly as he did in that moment, not ever. He leapt out of his chair and grabbed Draco's arm before his other hand could reach the door handle, span him around and before Draco could argue, complain or lie any more Harry kissed him, the force of it pushing Draco backwards a step and slamming him against the door.

Draco didn't seem to mind the rough treatment; he kissed Harry back with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around his neck and slipping his tongue into Harry's mouth.

"You do," Harry panted, pulling back from Draco long enough to give a victorious grin. "You big fat liar."

"Oh fine, I do" Draco said impatiently. "Only because _you_ kept watching me and being so damn cute, whenever I turned up and you dropped everything and couldn't string a sentence together."

"I am not cute!" Harry said indignantly.

"Yeah, you are," Draco said back. "Now shut up."

He kissed Harry again, pushing him back away from the door, the strength in his movement taking Harry by surprise and making the pair of them stumble backwards until Harry's legs hit the desk.

Draco kept pushing and Harry had to hastily slide up onto the desk, knocking a stack of parchment and Draco's half drunk coffee everywhere, but he couldn't find the will to care because he had suddenly found himself with Draco planted firmly between his thighs, pressing up against him deliciously and with his nimble fingers deftly undoing the buttons of Harry's shirt.

"We can't, not here," Harry panted.

"Yeah we can," Draco argued, and Harry wondered if he and Draco would be arguing forever about everything no matter what the situation, but then all thought was wiped from his mind as Draco wrenched his shirt open and leant down, kissing a blazing trail across Harry's collarbone.

Harry gasped and seized Draco's head, threading his fingers into his hair, holding him firmly in place as Draco kissed him across him chest before pulling up to kiss Harry soundly on the mouth, Harry's hands still in his hair.

Fingers were at Harry's belt quicker than he could say "mmf," against Draco's mouth, which he did anyway. Draco either didn't comprehend or ignored him and had Harry's belt open and trousers undone in five seconds flat.

He wrenched his mouth away from Harry's and pushed him back onto the desk, sending another stack of parchment sliding onto the floor. Harry fought to sit back up but Draco wouldn't let him.

"Don't make me tie you down," Draco said threateningly.

"I'm just a bit against being fucked on my work desk," Harry panted.

"I'm not going to fuck you," Draco said, his eyes locked on Harry's. "Not here, anyway."

Harry felt a thrill run through him at Draco's words, of both arousal and badly guarded anticipation. The arousal was ratcheted up several notches as long fingers dipped inside the waistband of his boxers, fingertips brushing tantalizingly along the tip of his erection which had been trying to escape the confines of his trousers the moment Draco had had his fingers on his belt.

Harry gave in and lay back on the desk as Draco yanked his trousers and boxers down in one movement, his whole body trembling. It was an uncomfortable place to lie but he didn't care; the feel of Draco's fingers kneading his thighs and the hot breath ghosting over his abdomen made him ignore any discomfort and when Draco used his fingers to hold Harry's cock steady and slide it into his mouth in one smooth movement he forgot about it completely.

"Oh, _fuck_," Harry managed to gasp out as Draco ran his tongue up and down Harry's shaft before enclosing his in his mouth once more and sucking hard.

He didn't care that he was approaching orgasm faster than he ever had in his life; it had been a _long _time since anyone had done this to him and Draco had some serious skill in the business of oral sex. He tried to divert his thoughts elsewhere to take the edge of his arousal but it was no good; all he could think about was the tongue that was now swirling delicious circles around the head of his cock, and the fingers that were gliding up the inside of his thigh and he was trying to spread his legs further but they were restrained by his trousers around his thighs-

Control abandoned him as he felt Draco's searching fingers run higher and higher, dipping behind his balls and gently running up his crease; his hips were thrusting up into Draco's mouth and Draco was taking it and thoroughly enjoying it judging by the moans and grunts he made as he worked Harry harder than anyone had every done before.

Harry looked down and the last of his composure shattered at the sight of a white-blond head buried in his crotch at the same time Draco's wandering finger pressed gently against his entrance; he didn't even have time to shout a warning before his spine was arching off the desk and he was coming so hard his vision went white, Draco's mouth wrapped firmly around his pulsing cock.

When the last tremors of climax had left him, he lay there, boneless and exhausted and wondering how on Earth he must look, half naked and spread eagled out on a bed of probably ruined paperwork. He felt Draco move away from between his legs and heard a low chuckle.

"Doing alright there, Potter?"

Harry forced himself to sit up, pulling his trousers and boxers back up and doing them up with shaking fingers. To his surprise, the moment his belt was back in place Draco wriggled back between his legs and wrapped his arms around him, running his hands up and down his back and letting Harry rest his chin on his shoulder. He hadn't expected Draco to be, well, cuddly after sex but it was a welcome surprise and he wasn't going to mention it because Draco was close enough to his nether regions to deal out some serious punishment if he so desired.

"God that was good," Harry honestly chose to say through his still somewhat uneven breathing.

"I know," Draco said smugly and Harry rolled his eyes.

"So…" Harry began a little awkwardly, wondering if there was a guide available on what to say in these sorts of situations. _Smart things to say after sex,_ or _How to say thank you after an amazing blowjob. _Something along those lines.

Draco saved him the trouble by speaking first. "Yes Potter, I like you and if you'd been less embarrassed about the whole thing you would have stopped blushing and running away and noticed me watching you a lot as well."

Harry felt more surprise run through him, followed swiftly by a warm and altogether _good_ sensation as he listened to Draco's words. He laughed softly, kissing Draco's face just beside his ear.

"Why didn't you say anything? If you knew I liked you?" he asked.

"You're _Harry Potter_." Draco said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "If I'd tried to come onto you before you were ready for it, before you'd properly forgiven me for everything I did, you'd have freaked out and pushed me away and then it would have been the talk of the Ministry."

"I thought you liked being the talk of the Ministry," Harry said cheekily.

"Not in the rejected by Harry Potter capacity," Draco said and Harry nodded. He settled his chin back on Draco's shoulder and shivered as Draco continued to trace lazy circles over his back with his hands, rubbing away the aches from having been laid on a hard wooden desk. They stayed there for long moments, untill Draco shifted forwards almost imperceptibly, his crotch almost pressing against Harry's. Harry felt his spent cock twitch boldly and arousal stirring through his body once more at Draco's nearness. He was somewhat startled, but he wasn't going to complain.

"So," he pulled back a little so he could whisper in Draco's ear. "You mentioned fucking?"

"Here?" Draco said, his hands stilling on Harry's back and leaning back to look at Harry with his eyebrows raised and a very interested expression on his face.

"No, not _here_," Harry said, impatiently. "But to be honest we're not getting anything work related done here so we should really call it a day and go home."

"My place or yours?" Draco asked, a sudden grin breaking across his face.

"Both," Harry replied, kissing Draco soundly again.

"My place or your place _first_?" Draco reiterated with a smirk.

"Oh. Mine," Harry said, already imaging Draco spread out on his black bedcovers, naked and gloriously pale and toned and writhing and moaning Harry's name-

"Lead the way then," Draco prompted and Harry tore his thoughts away from imaginary naked Draco to the real and sadly not naked Draco and nodded breathlessly.

"Appartion point. Easiest. Quickest." Harry managed to say, grabbing his jacket and leaving his paperwork exactly where it was because as far as he was concerned it could go fuck itself and join Draco's paperwork in the flooded office a floor above and be eaten by the octopus.

"Everyone will see if we disapparate together," Draco said pointedly.

"Don't care," Harry said, pushing Draco bodily towards the door.

"Oh. Good," Draco said, a smile ghosting his face as he allowed himself to be manhandled out of the doorway. He reached out and caught hold of Harry's fingers as Harry made to march along the corridor and Harry paused, turning to look at Draco with wide eyes.

Draco held his breath, and then Harry's face broke into a brilliant smile and Draco couldn't help but return it; grinning like a complete idiot as Harry held tightly onto his hand and pulled him along the corridor.

* * *

"About bloody time," Ron sighed in relief, stepping around the corner he had been stealthily peering around as he saw Draco and Harry hurriedly leave Harry's office in the opposite direction, Harry's hand firmly in Draco's.

"I have to agree," Kingsley said with a smile, reaching over to shake Ron's hand. "It's about time Harry had something other than work to think about."

"Even if it is _Malfoy_," Ron said with a slight grimace. "Why did Harry have to have a crush on _Malfo_y?"

"Give him a chance, he may surprise you," Kingsley said with a knowledgeable nod.

"Yes boss," Ron nodded, then giving a satisfied sigh. "Well, I'd have to say that was a rather good plan."

"Unconventional would be the word I'd use, but yes," Kingsley said, amused.

"Yeah, a great plan up until now!" A livid voice said, and a dripping wet George limped into view around the corner, carrying the spent Aquabox and looking mutinous. He pointed at his leg and Ron and Kingsley both stifled laughs as they looked down and saw the octopus wrapped firmly around George's knee with all eight of its legs, looking at them malevolently. "I can't get the sodding thing off!"

* * *

**No octopi were harmed in the creation of this piece of nonsense.**


End file.
